Obsessed With Isabella: January 2005

Daddy showing Isabella that it's more fun to play with the toys than eat them.

Duuhhh...what's going on over there?

Isabella can do the splits...see how talented she is. :)

Smiley!

Nice drool little lady.

Isabella loving Tigger.

Cutie!

Where's Isabella?

Playing with her Tigger toy thing.

That's a good tasting toy.

Isabella

Grave Reflections...

So guess who started a blog...guess...seriously are you really trying to guess? I don't know maybe I won't tell you. Hmmmm...lets see should I say? Should I really tell you? Well, ok...DOUGIE!!!! So my Dougie started a blog the other day. He got sucked in I guess and couldn't resist any longer. The poor weak bastard. :) I'm excited. Not like I don't talk to him constantly, but I'm still excited to read what he has to write. Yea!!! His blog is at: www.gravereflection.blogspot.com

Go there and tell him all how much you love him and think he's hot and sexy!!!

Yuck! Not carrots!!

So Isabella tried carrots for the first time yesterday. She did NOT like them. She started eating them like she usually eats her cereal by just sticking out her tongue and tasting them. Usually she'll then begin to eat normally and do fine, but now with the carrots. She right away started making really sad faces of disgust. A few times I was able to actually get some into her mouth, but that was terrible. I felt soooo bad for her. She would actually gag on them. She wouldn't gag like she couldn't swallow it and was choking, but she made sounds and faces like an adult would when they are pretending to gag. It was really cute and sad all at the same time. After a few tries she became really pissed off so we gave up. Fortunately today was better. Doug fed her and she actually ate everything in her bowl. I don't know that she likes them any better, but at least she was willing to eat them. It sucks that we have to start out with vegetables, because they smell so incredibly disgusting. We also have to feed her the same thing for a couple days in a row just to make sure she's not allergic to anything, and if she is we will know right away what she's allergic to. So tomorrow is her last day of those stinky ass carrots. Thank god!! Although it's not like she gets anything much better after that. I might try sweet potatoes because I don't like the looks of the green vegetables. I'm excited when I can give her fruit because then I can kind of mix the fruit with the vegetables for her so hopefully they will taste a little better to her, but I really think it will just make a horrible combination, but babies are silly like that.

She's finally learning how to keep her hands in front of her when she lays on her tummy too. For the life of me I could not get her to keep her hands in front of her because she didn't like it and would keep putting them up in the air behind her. Finally after some persistence from Doug and I she all of a sudden is able to actually play with her toys on her tummy. Hopefully soon she'll be figuring out how to push herself up on her arms. She's so damn strong that as soon as she figures out how to use her arms she'll probably be off and crawling all over. When we pull her up into a sitting postion from laying on the floor she can then use her legs to push herself up into a standing position without much help from us. We basically just let her hold onto our fingers and she does the rest of the work. Maybe it's just because she's my baby, but I know she's super strong. :)

Fuck school. That's all I have to say about that subject.

The perfect present!

My mom and Isabella playing.

Isabella obviously not enjoying her carrots.

No more crack!!!

So Doug's mom and new daddy, and new brother brought down a queen size bed and a new couch for us. Yea!!! We were so damn excited. We have been sleeping on two twin size beds pushed together for over a year and half now. Not only is it two twins, but Doug's is an extra long one so they aren't even the same length. That mean we couldn't make it look like a normal bed by putting the same size sheets on it or something, and if Doug or I wanted to sleep close together we had to sleep on the crack, which is always fun. So now we have ONE bed to sleep on and it looks like a real bed because it is. I'm also excited about the new couch because our old shitty one sucked so bad. We got it for free when we moved in and it definitely wasn't even worth paying nothing for it. When you sit on it you had to sit in certain spots otherwises there would be a board going up your ass. The stuffing or whatever was so old and flattened out that you just sunk into the couch. It definitely sucked trying to get off of it while I was pregnant. Now we have a very comfy couch that doesn't surprise you by pushing stuff up your butt. Now I think we are officially a little less white trash. :)

I am so sick of my damn Intro to Computers class. You would think it would be super easy since I've taken computer class since 6th grade, but its not. I guess its because I'm re-learning things that I haven't used since probably 6th grade. I use the computer everyday, but not the different programs and all the little intricate details of the programs, so I'm pretty frustrated. I ended up just turning one of the assignments in knowing it's about 75% wrong. Oh, well I have an A in the class so far, so it's not like I'll end up with an F because of one bad grade. As long as I can get good grades the rest of the semester. At least with this class being so hard it will keep my interest even though I hate it so much. I'm the kind of person that can get straight A's pretty easily as long as the class keeps my interest. It seems like when I take a class that's too easy I get bored because it's not like I'm learning anything and I don't really have to try, so I tend to start slacking in the class and that really screws me in the end.

I'm getting excited because Isabella and I are going to Arizona with my mom and sister in less than a month. I'm nervous for her to be on a plane because I don't know if she'll be crabby or what. I'm hoping that somehow we can get her to fall asleep before the plane takes off so her ears don't pop and make her upset. I'm excited for her to be able to play outside since she's hardly got to spend time outside since she was born.

Well I'm off to bed. Gotta get up with chunk chunk in the morning!!!

I like this one because her cheeks are all big and she looks annoyed.

Old Pictures

So I was just thinking of stuff and remembered that April had given us a CD of pictures she took when Isabella was 6 weeks old. I thought I'd post some of them for you all to see. I have to really give April lots of respect for these pictures. Almost the entire time Isabella was crabby and April was still able to get some really good pictures of my baby. I've said it before and I'll say it again, April and Isabella make the best pictures in the world!!! Thanks April!!!

Look at her hair!!! She's lost lots of her hair since she was born, but look at how much she used to have. Cute!!!

Mommy, daddy, and Isabella.

My beautiful baby.

Cute naked baby!

Isabella and daddy.

Isabella and mommy.

Child Trafficking

I watched Oprah today, and one of the people on her show was Ricky Martin. Yes, the "She bangs! She bangs!" guy. He was talking about how he went to countries where the Tsunami hit. While talking about the Tsunami he brought up child trafficking. For those of you that don't know, child trafficking is basically taking children and forcing them into prostitution. In places where the Tsunami hit there are people flying over there specifically for the reason of finding orphaned children to force into prostituion, or other forms of pornography. Now this doesn't just happen in countries that we rarely hear about, it also happens right here in the United States. I'm bringing this up because I feel, like many others, that child prostitution and pedophelia, are some of the most disgusting things you can do to a child. Ricky Martin brought up something about a man paying $10,000 to have sex with a 5 year old. A FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD!!! Now, the person that I am I typically look at both sides of a story. From the person RAPING the child I can see, in a way, why they feel they should do this. Being a pedophile, in a way, is like having a weird sexual fantasy, or turn on. Some people are attracted to certain people, and like to have weird types of sex and sexual encounters. People who want to have sex with children, I feel, have this same feeling and tendency. They are attracted to young children, for some sick reason, and that is their fantasy. I understand, to a point, that they have sexual urges just like everyone else, and want to fulfill them. It's like some people being attracted to women with big boobs, or women who are attracted to a muscular guy. Unfortunately, they are similar in comparison. You have to look at how some guys are attracted to young teenage girls. They may not be turned on by 5 year olds, but there is something about a young girl who is innocent looking that gets to them. So I can see their side and understand that this is a sexual urge and fantasy. Now that I have talked about the sickening, disgusting, incredibly wrong side of pedophila, I will tell you my opinion on why it's wrong.
It's wrong, because it's wrong. Huh, what a reason. What a fucking surprising answer to this incredibly terrible thing. What else can I say? Let me think...oh yeah...people like this are sick, dimented, and disturbed. I understand this is a sexual urge, fine. And I'm not sorry in saying that you are a sick bastard for thinking like this. How can you look at an innocent child and feel any sexual urges, and actually want to take part in them? Why would you want to take a child and force them to do something that they don't understand, want, need, or like? You are taking a child, a tiny, tiny child, and tearing away their innocence. You are subjecting them to something that will destroy the rest of their lives. Something they will probably think about daily and remember every minute of, no matter what age, and feel shame about. They will feel that they did something wrong, that they deserved it, and that they are the one's who asked for it. To those of you out there, YOU ARE SICK BASTARDS!!!! You disgust and enrage me. I don't feel this way only because it's not the norm, but because I have a daughter. My Isabella is the most beautiful, most precious thing in my life. If anyone even had a thought about doing anything to her I promise I would kill you. Children do not understand all the time that they can and should say no to certain adults. They are taught to always respect adults and to do as they say. Parents do not always talk to their children about certain monsters out in the world who are only put here to hurt them. These children are threatened by these disgusting ass people and feel like if they tell they will be in trouble, or their family will get hurt. They are forced to carry around this terrible burden of guilt and shame. I do not understand how someone can look at a child and want to hurt them. I look at Isabella and sometimes, as awful as it sounds, try to picture spanking her. How would I feel after I did it? How would she feel? The thing is I can't even picture doing it. I look at her and see her incredible smile, and her chubby little tummy, and her sucking on her fingers, and can't imagine how anyone could even spank their child. I personally am against spanking. I don't think it's the worst thing, and don't consider it abuse as long as the parent is in control while doing it, but I will never spank Isabella. I think about these little kids out there who are being used for sex and I really want to cry sometimes. Now if you know me, I don't cry. I don't cry about anything. I think there's only been two times that Doug has ever actually seen me cry in the last 3 1/2 years. The first time was when we had to give up our puppy, Massachusetts, it was horrible. The second time was when I was in the hospital after giving birth to Isabella and Doug told me that Nugget had died. I don't know if it's because I was actually that sad, or because I was drugged up, but I cried hard. Either way, I am not an emotional person, but this is something that really makes me sick. I hear stories about it and just feel helpless. I feel like I should be over there, wherever there is, and beating off predators. I should be over there protecting these children because I have a baby. These kids have nobody to help them. They are scared and lonely and the first friendly, smiling face that comes to talk to them they are willing to embrace. They want to be with somebody, with a family, with their family. They are desperate for love and someone to be around and take care of them. They don't know how to care for themselves or how to defend themselves, so they go with these terrible people. They trust them, and probably start to love them. And then out of nowhere they are thrust into this life of torture and horror. They are forced to do things that saing, grown adults would never even think of doing. They are children that don't even know how to read or write, they like to play with their dolls, they love to play hide-and-seek, they haven't yet learned to do a summersault (s/p?). These are children who just want to live life. When I look at Isabella I can see how her mind is working in a way. She is curious about things like her feet. She can play with them for a long time not even knowing they are attached to her body. She gets excited when I sing "Achy Breaky Heart" to her, and it's definitely not a good rendition. She loves licking my shirt when I hold her, and she loves watching her silly cartoons. She hates being on her tummy unless she can look at her damn Boo Bah. She loves loud music, especially Doug's music, and gets scared when you make a weird face or noise. She loves, loves, loves bathtime, and loves getting lotion massaged onto her little legs, tummy, and arms. She is starting to love her cereal, but loves her bottle more. She hates getting clothes put on, but loves getting naked, especially when I sing the "Get Naked" song by Tommy Lee. She is the most beautiful, smartest, cutest thing in the world. How could anyone look at her and want to hurt her? How can you look at a child and want to do things to them that would torture their minds forever? I don't understand.