I need a vacation...
I'm not kidding. I need one. Now.
Hopefully by the middle of next week I won't be soooo stressed out, but I really don't have any confidence in that. Who thought starting my own business was a good idea? Oh, ok...yeah it was me. Honestly, in the long run (as long as people hire me) it will be worth it, but right now, at this exact moment I just want to run down 42nd and scream my head off. I feel overwhelmed and behind in everything I need to get done.
I've gone from a "To Do" list of over 60 things to and "Updated To Do" list of about 23. That's an accomplishment I guess, but I won't feel comfortable and calm until my "To Do" list is complete and I'm hired.
I couldn't imagine trying to get all this stuff done while still doing daycare. I feel like right now I have 3 full times jobs. That doesn't even include my regular mom/girlfriend jobs. I'm tired of calling people, talking to people, running errands, comparing prices, making decisions, realizing I made the wrong decision, typing, researching, blah, blah, blah.
All I want to do is clean some houses. That's it. Why does it have to be soooo difficult??? I honestly think part of the problem is that in the last year and half I haven't had to actually use too many thought molecules in my brain. I mean, yes, taking care of beautiful babies requires some brain power, but it's not rocket science. I'm obviously not saying that this particular venture is rocket science, but I've actually had to talk to ADULTS constantly every single day. Can you imagine going from talking to kids under the age of 4 every single day to all of a sudden talking to people who instead of screaming at you (or farting for that matter) actually say words that you understand? Or at least you are pretty sure you understand, but you haven't heard a full sentence with proper sentence structure in over a year and a half at 2:00 in the afternoon, so you don't really know how to respond. All you want to say is, "It's still nap time.", or "Did you poop?", or "Your mommy will be here soon.", or my ever favorite..."Yes, blakdlahdflahda, is a turtle." Seriously.
Right now I'm freaking out. People with strong debilitating anxiety disorders really are not recommended, by me at least, to start their own business. Although, I'm glad I'm finally doing something that I've wanted to do for a very long time. I've sat around long enough "wishing" when I could've been "doing". If I fail, I fail. If I succeed then good for me. Either way I'll be happy I tried and I know I'll always make the greatest future McDonald's drive-thru chick ever!!!
(BTW, yeah the insomnia thing with a dash of Isabella waking up at least once a night to go to the bathroom isn't helping either. I will highly recommend the sugar free vanilla iced coffee's from McDonalds though. It's definitely my new addiction. 3 days in a row and counting.)
Hopefully by the middle of next week I won't be soooo stressed out, but I really don't have any confidence in that. Who thought starting my own business was a good idea? Oh, ok...yeah it was me. Honestly, in the long run (as long as people hire me) it will be worth it, but right now, at this exact moment I just want to run down 42nd and scream my head off. I feel overwhelmed and behind in everything I need to get done.
I've gone from a "To Do" list of over 60 things to and "Updated To Do" list of about 23. That's an accomplishment I guess, but I won't feel comfortable and calm until my "To Do" list is complete and I'm hired.
I couldn't imagine trying to get all this stuff done while still doing daycare. I feel like right now I have 3 full times jobs. That doesn't even include my regular mom/girlfriend jobs. I'm tired of calling people, talking to people, running errands, comparing prices, making decisions, realizing I made the wrong decision, typing, researching, blah, blah, blah.
All I want to do is clean some houses. That's it. Why does it have to be soooo difficult??? I honestly think part of the problem is that in the last year and half I haven't had to actually use too many thought molecules in my brain. I mean, yes, taking care of beautiful babies requires some brain power, but it's not rocket science. I'm obviously not saying that this particular venture is rocket science, but I've actually had to talk to ADULTS constantly every single day. Can you imagine going from talking to kids under the age of 4 every single day to all of a sudden talking to people who instead of screaming at you (or farting for that matter) actually say words that you understand? Or at least you are pretty sure you understand, but you haven't heard a full sentence with proper sentence structure in over a year and a half at 2:00 in the afternoon, so you don't really know how to respond. All you want to say is, "It's still nap time.", or "Did you poop?", or "Your mommy will be here soon.", or my ever favorite..."Yes, blakdlahdflahda, is a turtle." Seriously.
Right now I'm freaking out. People with strong debilitating anxiety disorders really are not recommended, by me at least, to start their own business. Although, I'm glad I'm finally doing something that I've wanted to do for a very long time. I've sat around long enough "wishing" when I could've been "doing". If I fail, I fail. If I succeed then good for me. Either way I'll be happy I tried and I know I'll always make the greatest future McDonald's drive-thru chick ever!!!
(BTW, yeah the insomnia thing with a dash of Isabella waking up at least once a night to go to the bathroom isn't helping either. I will highly recommend the sugar free vanilla iced coffee's from McDonalds though. It's definitely my new addiction. 3 days in a row and counting.)
Labels: freaking out post
posted by Karissa (mommy) | 11:21 PM
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